Based on if I still find them attractive today as a 21 year old with a more developed frontal lobe.
I would like to preface this by saying young Samantha Tocke had some very questionable taste. This is not to say that current Samantha Tocke doesn’t as well, but she is older, wiser, and can signify red flags from a mile away. Does she take those red flags into account? Not all the time, but it’s progress. Samantha Tocke is going to stop talking in the third person now, and get on with the ranking.
Sigh.
Gerard Butler as The Phantom of the Opera in The Phantom of the Opera (2004)
We are already off to a great start. This is probably my most prominent fictional crush growing up. So much so that I was the Phantom many years for Halloween. I’ll find a picture don’t worry.
To be fair, I have never left my Phantom of the Opera phase, but I have really gotten back into it lately. It’s been a hard semester, okay? Don’t judge. Is Gerard Butler hot? Yes. Is he hot as the Phantom of the Opera? Also, yes. Does the Phantom of the Opera make great choices? No, but where would be the fun if he did? Is this the character that set the tone for my taste in men? Yes. Could I fix him? I would try.
9/10. I’m taking a point away for all the murder he did, but let’s be fair. A guy needs hobbies.
Men who can sing are my weakness, and now I know, Gerard Butler cannot sing.
Moving on.
Draco Malfoy from the Harry Potter Series
Right off the bat, this is going to be a no from me. I’m trying to understand twelve year old me’s decision here, and I think I was going through a “blond men” moment, which I know now.
Never. Trust. A. Blond. Man.
Look, Draco is racist, sexist, xenophobic, misogynistic, and blond. A horrible combo of things to be.
0/10. Ew.
Edgar Ramírez as Simón Bolívar from The Liberator
I had to watch this for Spanish class in like seventh or eighth grade. Do I remember any Spanish? Not really. Do I remember Edgar Ramírez as Simón Bolívar? Sí.
8/10
Speaking of watching movies for school.
Jack O’Connell as Louis Zamperini in Unbroken
We are in a Jack O’Connell renaissance at the moment. In society and in my house. I have decided to watch his entire filmography, even stuff I have already seen. I had to watch this for a social studies/history class I believe. I think it was APUSH, but we were watching it and I was like, “Oh shit! It’s Cook from Skins,” because I was also into Skins. This is also how I got a lot of my friends in high school to watch Skins. Skins will not be on this list because that will simply open a whole other can of worms.
Anyways, 10/10. No notes.
Bela Lugosi as Dracula (1931)
I was also super into gothic literature as a kid (and still am), and that love is very reflective in this list and my taste in men. So Dracula’s okay. I don’t find him as mysterious and alluring as I did when I was little. I think there are other vampires out there that are hotter, but this is a good starting place. I also have/had a crush on Gerard Butler as Dracula in Dracula 2000, but I felt it would be unfair to have him on this list twice.
5/10
Alexander Skarsgård as Eric Northman in True Blood
Alexander is the hottest of the Skarsgård brothers, and I will die on that hill. Also, why was I watching True Blood at such a young age? I do think we can do better. Well, not we. I can do better in general, but I do see where younger me is coming from. I get it. One hundred percent.
8/10
From Skins to True Blood, I watched so many things I probably shouldn’t have when I was little, but it’s okay because I’m a fun adult!
Michael Beck as Sonny Malone in Xanadu
I’m allowed to have one normal guy on here, and that is it. He’s a cutie. I like his character for the most part. He’s sweet, but the movie not so much. My mom showed it to me when I was little, and I really liked the colors and the music.
But beyond that…it’s definitely a movie that exists. Fun fact, this movie was so poorly received that it was the inspiration to start the Golden Raspberry Awards, a.k.a. The Razzies.
7/10
Adam Maitland from Beetlejuice
You wouldn’t know it from this picture, but this is surprisingly Alec Baldwin. Maybe, I’m allowed two normal men on this list, but that’s it. No more.
Look at his little glasses! I hope I look this good when I die.
8/10. Minus two points for my disappointment a couple years ago when I found out this is Alec Baldwin.
Manolo from The Book of Life
He’s voiced by Diego Luna and he sings. What can I say?
The Book of Life ran so that Coco could also run beside it. Two queens coming together to maximize their joint slay.
9/10
D.B. Woodside as Amenadiel from Lucifer
Lucifer was my favorite show growing up for a lot of reasons, and one of the reasons being D.B. Woodside as Amenadiel. He’s fantastic in this show. Love him. Love his character.
10/10
Last but certainly not least…
Tom Ellis as Lucifer Morningstar from Lucifer
Do I really need to explain myself here? Just look at him.
No really. Look at him.
Not convinced? I am so many more photos and a quick, 40 second video.
Now you’re with me.
I don’t know what else to say but 10/10
I loved this show so much I was younger. It is still my ringtone because I forgot how to change my ringtone, and I’m too lazy to figure it out.
Little me had really great taste in me, and looking back on this list of the characters I was comfortable showing you (There are more, of course.), I can see that my taste has really yet to change. If anyone has Tom Ellis number, help a girl out and let me know.
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